Not too much politeness, please. It's deceiving. It's dangerous.

We grow up learning that we must be kind and nice to people. As a baby I bet we feel safer looking at kind-looking faces (kind-looking - is there such an expression? blah, whatever). If we are being too frank or outspoken we are being rude, and being rude is never a good thing. I grow up believing this, and I know I am not alone.

Mum told me that as a child I say what I feel. Sometimes I appeared to people as rude, although - as far as I can recall - more often than not I didn't mean to be so. Well, I learn not to always say what I feel as time passes. Eventually I get myself used to it. Too used to it, I'm afraid. And now I'm paying the price. It's gotten to a point where even the most cowardly of people could make me their subject of ridicule and embarrassment. 

For a long time I go on trying to be nice, trying to make everyone happy, trying to satisfy everybody, trying to let things go. For a very long time I got so sensitive I can't stand people yelling at me. Well, everybody cannot stand being yelled to, but my degree of sensitivity is unusually higher than that of anybody else I know (I think I can safely claim it without having to go through a debate). As a result, I am afraid to try new things because I am afraid of making mistakes (because it's very possible to get yelled at and get scolded if we make mistakes, right? Right? Riiiiigggghhhht?)

But maybe it's right when people say that time and experience change how we view things and stuff. As time passes and I get to know new people and make new acquaintances, I learn that just because people are nice to you when they are with you, it doesn't necessarily mean that they like you - or at least, have nothing that they dislike about you. Hey, I've seen people badmouthing their supposedly best friends behind their back. I've got some people coming to me complaining about their best friends doing things they hate. They come to me and anybody else to express their dissatisfaction and anger but the person in question. Yes, we have more weird inhabitants on Earth now. 

On the other hand, some acquaintances of mine are outspoken - they say what they feel. If they are angry with someone, they don't go hiding it for the sake of not being rude, they spill it out right there and then. I used to hate such people and I used to avoid communicating with this kind of people as much as I can - but now I know what I did is not a smart move on my part at all. I begin to realize that it is hard for me to take direct, bold, honest criticisms, but it is even harder when people that I view as nice and kind are badmouthing me behind my back, or even worse, backstabbing me. Experience taught me to appreciate people's boldness. Right at this moment I am learning to appreciate some friends I have who I know to be very frank and outspoken, and I am learning not to be so sensitive. 

Trust me, been there done that, I can safely say that it is better to have a few friends who criticize and scold us right to our face at the right time and the right place, than to have a thousand of friends who shower and gratify us with politeness and compliments in front of us all the time. I used to be angry at my best friends if they point out my mistakes and give me a good bashing, but now I realize they did it only because they care about me and they don't want me to keep repeating the same mistakes. Yes, my best friends are quite frank and bold, but I know I am very lucky to have them for friends (I took a long time to realize this. It took a long time for me to realize how lucky I am. Better late than never, though).  

As for now, I'm taking baby steps to get back the outspoken me. Too much politeness will kill us. Really. 

Just because I'm short doesn't mean you can just step on me boy.

One morning at the school I am currently undergoing my teaching practicum in.

I was walking towards a group of students who were training for an upcoming competition when suddenly one of them said something like this, "Hey, it's Shorty!"

Mind you, the term Shorty here does not refer to a hot chick like the way the rappers and the RnB singers used it. When that kid addressed me as Shorty he was referring to my height. (Yes, I am quite short.)

Imagine how angry I am! I mean, I am short but I am still a teacher for God's sake! Even if I'm not a teacher, what right does he have to mock me like that?

But I tried to remain calm. If it was my little brother calling me by such names, no doubt I will beat the hell out of him. Luckily, it's not. Still this fella needs to be taught to respect other people, just not by yelling or cursing at him. Beating him or even canning him is definitely out of question - in Malaysia, even qualified teachers are not allowed to cane students, let alone teacher trainees like me. Only certain teachers are allowed to cane students (I can't remember who, but among those are definitely the Headmaster and the Discipline Teacher). So no, I ain't gonna yell, but I ain't gonna go smooth either.

So I definitely nag the hell out of him. But no, no vulgar words are used. I could have told the Discipline Teacher about what he did because mocking teachers is a serious offense in Malaysian schools, but I didn't do so. Why? Well, for all we know, that kid might have no idea that what he's done is not morally right. Besides, if the Discipline Teacher ever know this has happened, there will be no way out for that fella.

I just took down his name and which class he is in. I warned him that the next time he does anything like this there will be no mercy for him. I told him that he'll gonna hope that the Discipline Teacher have some mercy on him next time. (Which seldom happens - my school's Discipline Teachers are not the ones who let people off easily, man. If he gave you a good bashing and that's it - you're lucky.)

Well, I definitely learn something today. Yes, there's nothing wrong in respecting students, but never let them end up not respecting teachers.

Western influence? WESTERN influence? Stop it, please.

This post is written in Malaysian context, me being a Malaysian, I guess.

One thing about Malaysians that never failed to make me feel like knocking on somebody's head using a sledgehammer (you know, like that wrestler Triple H did?) is their tendency to put the blame on everything Western every single time things go wrong in Malaysia, especially where our teenagers and youngsters are concerned. Discipline problems among today's Malaysian schoolchildren? Blame it on the "Western influence". Growing addiction towards pornography among Malaysian teenagers? It's the Westerners' doing.

Try asking a typical Malaysian (a typical one, mind you) about reasons underlying booze addiction in this country. I guarantee you that from numbers of reasons that he/she might give, the magic phrase "Western influence" will never be left out. Hell, it's one of THE main causes. Oh, I'll give you one better - it's THE main cause. Like Westerners alone would be the sole cause of why more Malaysians start getting drunk regularly.

This one tendency we have cannot be more obvious to mine eyes when it comes to cases of Sufiah Yusof and Amalina Che Bakri. The moment people talk about them, they start talking about how scary it would be to send kids to study abroad, yada yada yada. "This is all caused by the Westerners' way of life, very carefree, very immoral..." Such words to that effect we will always hear.

It's as if everything from the West is all bad, all stinks, all sucks, you name it. And everything from the East is all good. Gosh! What sort of misconception do we have here?

We blame the Westerners for getting us acquainted with brandy, stout, wine, etc. etc. Oh, please. What about tuak, tapai, todi? Do all these come from them? Do we come to create this after we come to know Carlsberg's and Tiger - you know, to go together with the "belilah barangan buatan Malaysia" (let's buy Malaysian products) policy? I wish we would stop being so spoon-fed and ignorant.

And besides, not everything Eastern is good. We look up to Japan as one of the most prominent, economically growing countries in the whole world, particularly in Asia. We admire their resilience. We look up to their strict adherence to discipline. They are disciplined in so many ways, and they are resilient enough to withstand whatever comes their way (look how they cope with the aftermath of the recent tsunami and earthquake). Those things I shall make no attempt to deny.

But don't tell me you're oblivious to the fact that Japan has a porn industry of their own - and a legit one, at that? And what else - slavery in Sudan, discrimination towards women in the Middle East - is this what we call good influence?

Not everything about the West and Westerners are bad things, you see. I think some of us do realize that. Why don't we try to mingle more with them? I have. Some of you, I bet, have done so, too. Most of the Westerners I know are indeed lovely and amiable. So far none of them have tried even to persuade me to get drunk or to molest me.

At the end of the day, whatever that is good we should take and practice, never mind if it's Western, Eastern, Northern, Southern etc. Whatever aspects that is bad, or unsuitable, coming from any culture worldwide should not be practiced. (Some of you might bring up the issue of ethics and morality, which is a very wide issue in itself, but let's save it for another time, yes?)